president's toilets

Date: 5/19/2003


WE ASKED AN iNDIAN, HOLDER OF THREE PhDs, "Name two brothers or sisters of your President."

"I don't know. Nor does my father. Perhaps he was immaculate conception who had no other siblings."

We were very disappointerd.

"Surely you wouldn't know which way his TOILETS face."

He was surprised. "I wouldn't care a damn," he said.




It is learnt from unconfirmed sources that President of India Abdul Kalam had obection with regard to the toilets in his Imperial Home, the President’s Palace, in New Delhi. They were facing the wrong way.

The building was built by the BRITISH in early 1930’s to provide a befitting palace to the Viceroy in order to impress and terrify the natives. The rulers at that time were Christian and had no idea as to which direction the toilets ought to face to appease the Muslims.

But now it is the Era of Mohammed in North Kashmir, EAST Bengal and West Punjab and the “Era of Donkey” in the rest of PARTITIONED BLEEDING INDIA.

The present President is a MOHAMMEDAN and the Prime Minister, the Servant of Sonia, is a secular HINDU, “road sweeper” Atal Behari Vajjapee.

The uncrowned Empress of Impoverished Indian Coolie Colony is Sonia KHAN, the Italian import by BOFORS CHOR. He thought anything Italian is vastly superior to everything Made in India.

To please the President and to appease the Mohammedans, the toilets in President’s House (Rashtrapati Bhawan) are to face Mathura instead of Mecca.

To ONE BILLION Hindus it doesn’t matter which way the toilets of Abdul Kalam face. They give a damn about it and perhaps Abdul Kalam, too, might have “lumped” it like his unwilling gesture to greet the large picture of Shivaji in Lok Sabha. We believe Netaji has yet to make his appearance there and Guru Gobind Singhji, NEVER since he wielded the sword instead of going on ‘fast unto death’ like Bapu Gandhi who defeated the Japanese and chased out the British by fasting.

So why did ABDUL KALAM act in such a fundamentalist manner while professing to tolerate the Hindus around him?

It is said that a very rude message arrived from Al Qaida. “We are despatching a suicide squad to blow up your Bum & Bhawan if your toilets do not face East, that is, towards Mathura, while you go doing “jungle paani” in the morning.

Government of India was informed of the threat to the President’s life and they promptly complied.

Was there a precedence to such a prompt compliance? YES. All the top Indian leaders complied equally promptly to the Muslim demand for PARTITION in 1947.

The Indians can now feel safe and rejoice. Their Government has implemented a peace plan under which Al Qaida has agreed to cease fire provided the HINDUS have no objection calling BOGUSdesh “Bangladesh” and to touching the feet of Sonia Khan’s Pope.