They say that if your give a monkey a typewriter, he is likely to print out the whole of Bible accurately in about 200 million years.
The following letter, with comments by a PATRIOT, may take even longer to be understood. It is supposed to have originated in the office of Abdul Kalam, SUPREME COMMANDER of PARTITIONED India.
Right now it is vital to repeat, for the whole world, the FIRST LINE of that "Act of PARTITION of India, 1947". It is brief and simple: "INDIA WILL BE DIVIDED BETWEEN THE MUSLIMS AND THE REST."
The writer of the letter below, as also one billion others with the same devalued INDIAN passport calling themselves NON MUSLIMS, must belong to the family of HINDU "frogs" who don't mind being lumped together as "the Rest" while every MUSALMAN throughout India, including beggars, prostitutes and road sweepers, became something very special and noteworthy.
NO WONDER THE AUTOCRATIC EMPRESS OF HINDUSTAN, INDIRA KHAN, RETURNED EAST BENGAL AFTER CAPTURE PROMPTLY TO ISLAM. She told her camp follower Sita Ram Kesri, "My father's secularism is only for the HINDU SCUM, especially for West Bengal and South Kashmir."
According to that ACT OF PARTITION, THE PRESIDENT OF INDIA, ABDUL KALAM, IS THE ENEMY OF INDIA. It is in his best interest not to recall PARTITION or to think of erecting a tall Memorial to the TWO MILLION HINDUS massacred then and since.
To this ENEMY WITHIN, those DEAD Hindus were no more than vermin since he looks at them through the eyes of his KORAN. According to his Book, he is a self-righteous and self-conceited MOMIN while "The Rest" are KAFIR.
He has great support in the crushed land of eternal slavery. His foremost ally is the WORTHLESS ITALIAN IMPORT BY BOFORS CHOR.
NOW TO THE LETTER, SUPPOSED TO EMANATE FROM HIS OFFICE. We suspect the writer is either a DEMOLISHED SECULAR HINDU or a CATHOLIC with long Hindu name. All is possible in the land of DECEPTION, BOFORS CHOR and ABDUL KALAM who has failed to finalise the case of corruption against ANY Gandhi.
.............PRESIDENT TOO BUSY RIGHT NOW
Its me, Palayanur...Tondaman again. (SO WHAT? ANOTHER INDIAN "COOLIE", RECONCILED TO THE MAP OF HIS MOTHERLAND THAT DOES NOT SHOW SINDH OR EAST BENGAL IN IT!)
I managed to contact the President by satellite fone. (O YES, YOU DID? CAN YOU AFFORD A "FONE" IF YOUR MOTHER TONGUE NOW IS ITALIAN AND ALL THE WEALTH OF YOUR NATION IS WITH THE MOTHER-IN-LAW OF BOFORS CHOR?)
He says its bery kold in Siachen and you should not go there. He said the troops in Siachen are fighting the Pakis, (O YES? THEN WHY DON'T THEY CROSS INTO SINDH WHICH IS ACCESSIBLE MORE EASILY FROM YOUR BAPU'S KUTCH OR THROUGH MOHAMMED ALI JINN'S KATHIAWAR? DON'T YOU THINK HE SHOULD SAVE ON HELICOPTER FUEL? WHAT KIND OF ADVISERS' HAS THIS ABDUL KALAM GOT?) not the Chinese, but would fight anybody who tries to take the land. (DASH IT, THEY TOOK THE LAND, A LOT OF IT, THOUSAND TIMES THE SIZE OF SIACHIN WHERE HIS TRIP IS CHARGED AGAINST THE POOR TAX PAYER. WHAT DO YOU SEE BEYOND WAGAH? SOME PERSIAN SEA?) he says they really mean it.
(TELL YOUR MOHAMMED TO RECOVER AN INCH OF NORTH KASHMIR AND CLAIM THE KIND OF AWARD WITH CASH THAT WAS GIVEN TO HIS FRIEND AND SOUL MATE YASSER ARAFAT.)
He said the bombs were built by PK Iyengar in 1974 and the newer ones by Chidambaram and not him. He said he doesn't know bombs, he only knows missiles. So don't blame him. But he doesn't mind the credit the media gives him for making a bomb.
He says it is the Hindu BJP who put him as President although he told them he only know how to make missiles and does not know politics or anything about the partition.
He says he is already a Hindu, reads the gita and all his life he has contributed to Hindu temples, which most Hindus never do. He said because of this and the bad muslims he did not marry although he could have married 4 wives. And that now since he is the President of a Hindu nation he fears even the 72 virgins will not be there for him and he very worried and nervous about this. I could hear his teeth chattering, and he was shouting at me on the fone. He says the BJP created all his personal problems.
I tell you, I have never seen him like this. So please don't pressure him. (NO I WON'T BOTHER HIM, SEEING YOUR PRESIDENT'S AGONY. I WONDER HOW HE CAN STAND UPRIGHT EVEN, CONSIDERING THAT HE HAS, PUSHED UP HIS BACK, THE LONG ISLAMIC POLE, THE LENGTH OF CROW'S FLIGHT FROM KARACHI TO SIACHIN. IF HE IS A MOHAMMEDAN AT HEART, HE WILL BEAR THE PAIN WITH A GRIN. BUT IF HE IS A HINDU, HE WILL FEEL THE AGONY. SO WHAT IS YOUR SUPREME COMMANDER DOING IN OPERATIONAL AREA? FINDING OUT TOP SECRET DISPOSITION AT FRONT LINE OF OUR JAWANS? IS HE A MUSALMAN, HINDU OR EUNUCH?)
He likes you calling him Sultan, he says it sounds like the old moghul days. As commander in chief, he also wants to be called MahaSenapati. He says that would sound better. (IT MIGHT SOUND BETTER TO YOU AND HIM BUT HIS HINDU SUBJECTS ARE HEARING THE NEWS OF ROUT OF INDAIN ARMY IN THE NEXT WAR. WHERE DO YOU THINK HIS GLOBAL ISLAM WILL TURN TO, AFTER THEY HAVE CHASED OUT THE AMERICANS FROM IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN? YOU YOURSELF COULD FLY OFF TO ROME IN THE COMPANY OF SONIA KHAN, AND HE COULD LEAVE FOR MECCA. BUT WHERE WILL YOUR ENSLAVED HINDUS FLEE THIS TIME? THE LAST TIME IT WAS DELHI FOR THOSE IN LAHORE AND IT WAS GUWAHATI FOR THOSE IN SYLHET. BUT WHERE WILL THE HINDUS, INCLUDING THOSE FROM SRINAGAR, FLEE NEXT TIME?)
He agrees with you all the problems the Bandit nehru caused, and he advises you to keep away from his family too. (LET HIS ADVICE BE SPIT IN HIS OWN FACE, DESPITE HIS NUCLEAR ARSENAL! THE "BEGGAR" OR "BASTARD" WHO ACCEPTS BROKEN BHARAT (INDIA MINUS LAHORE) CANNOT BE ANYTHING BUT A MOUSE OR FLY.)
But he said to tell you not to worry about Pakistan because the US has taken custody of all their bombs, and the Pakis are coming over to talk peace and hand over most of Kashmir back to India. (YOU MEAN AMERICA WILL REWARD PAKISTAN WITH SOUTH KASHMIR, TOO, SINCE THE PAKIS ARE GOING TO KILL OSAMA BIN LADEN FOR AMERICA?) They will get to keep the Northern Territories which is full of terrorists and the taliban. He says you just wait and see and don grumble anymore.
India, he says, is now strong enough to fight both Pakistan and China (DID YOU SAY CHINA? YOU DEVIOUS SERVANT OF "ITALY, ISLAM AND CRUSHED HINDU"? LEAVE CHINA OUT TILL YOU RECOVER NORTH KASHMIR, WEST PUNJAB, SINDH, EAST BENGAL AND ALSO BUILD THAT TEMPLE IN AYODHYA.) as well as the entire Middle East and therefore you should not be having any nightmares.
He says taking Lahore is a bad idea as it is full of muslims. (O YES, THAT DOES SUIT THE "BEIMAN BASTARD", LAHORE UNDER ISLAM, NOT UNDER HIS OWN SECULARISM! THE MUSLIMS THERE CAN EASILY BE CHASED OUT LIKE THE HINDUS FROM SRINAGAR. BUT FOR THIS THE COUNTRY CALLED HINDUSTAN NEEDS A PATRIOT, NOT A MUSALMAN, BEIMAN, HAIWAN, SHAITAN. THE COUNTRY OF DAMN FOOLS WILL PAY FOR HER TRUST IN A MOHAMMEDAN ONCE AGAIN.)
(Again he started shouting here, probably thinking of his personal misfortunes). (HE WAS SHOUTING BECAUSE YOU LOOKED A "NIGGER" TO HIM.)
He says no - many buddhists are coming to shrines especially in Bihar and many Japanese buddhists are marrying local boys there. Again he shouts, remembering his misfortunes, saying he is too old now. He said the dalai lama has been sitting in India for decades and like him is still single.
Yes he will visit Nepal, China, Ayodhya and even Mecca when time permits. (HE WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A LONG TIME SINCE A BILLION HINDUS ARE TO BE FINISIHED ON TOP PRIORITY BY HIM FIRST.) He said he contributed one brick for Ayodhya but cant remember if it reached the temple or someone took it home. He is angry about this too.
About the memorial for fallen Hindus he said it will be done in the next budget as all the money has been spent on building highways. (THE SON OF A BI*** OUGHT TO HAVE DONE SO IN THE VERY FIRST BUDGET OF YOUR "PARTITIONED INDIAN SECULAR STATE" THAT TURNS OUT TO BE PISS.) He thanked you for reminding and reminds you not to forget about a memorial for him too. (HE WILL JOIN GANDHI NO. 1, GANDHI NO. 2 AND GANDHI NO. 3, POSSIBLY ALSO GANDHI NO. 4 if he is lucky. HIS MEMORIAL WILL BE AS GRAND AS THOSE AT RAJGHAT, INDIRAGHAT AND RAJIVGHAT.)
He said he will vote for the Shiv Sena but unfortunately they are not contesting in New Delhi. He asks you to vote and get rid of the bandit family who caused all the problems for Bharat. And he tells you to stop the spitting habit and forget the paan.
Regards. (KEEP YOUR REGARDS RESERVED FOR AKHAND BHARAT OF YOUR BAPU SINCE SOME NOW CALL HIM "MAHATMA GANDU". THEIR ITALIAN AND ARABIC IC BETTER THAN THEIR HINDI. WE NEED NOT MIND SUCH FATAL LANGUAGE ERRORS FROM A NATION DEPRIVED OF QUALITY EDUCATION.)
Palayanur Sreenivasa Visvesa Sri Siva Siva Venkatesvara Kalyana Sabesa Govindaraaaya Tondaman (QUITE A LONG NAME FOR A SMALL FELLOW FROM MUCH REDUCED "PARTITIONED INDIAN SECULAR STATE," THAT IS, DIMINISHED INDIA)
Secretary to MahaSenapati Sultan Abdul Kalam Presidents Office Puthu Delhi
(SURELY THE "RATS & VERMIN" IN LOK SABHA, SITTING AT THE FEET OF THEIR WHITE ELEPHANT FROM ITALY, WILL TAKE NOTE OF YOUR SULTAN.
WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO FINALISE THE TRIAL OF THE BOFORS CHOR SO THAT THE WORLD COULD REGARD YOUR SULTAN'S OFFICE MORE THAN MERE MONKEY CIRCUS FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF HINDU SPECTATORS.)