Date: 5/25/2004


Forwarded. From another list. Isn't it a miracle that Karunanidhi just shook hands with Sonia in a great photo-op and Jayalalitha withdrew the anti-conversion law and YSR said hallelujah! Kalyanaraman


Head Pope,

Saint Manufacturing Unit,



Dear Pope John Paul II,

Sir, with due respect towards all the pains you are taking for producing saints in this old age, for this wretched world, I would like to register a strong protest for overlooking the most saintly woman on this earth. Her majesty, Madam Antonia Sonia Maino now more popularly known as Sonia Gandhi (SG). Yes, she is the same woman who descended from Rome to save and convert the most uncultured and ancient civilization on earth.

Dear pope, her life is full of miracles, sacrifices, sufferings, pain and selfless service for self centered Indian public. Though even this ungodly country do have her devotees who having understood her powers revere her like God, their sense of gratitude is overwhelming, they are ready to lick her feet, kneel on their knees and do whatever it takes to please her and have her blessings, and these sort of people are the only hope for this country, of course after SG. Her followers are usually found in groups and have many names like congress, marxist, leftist, secularist and media. So, whatever I'm writing they are going to vouch for it entirely.

Dear pope, this is the same India where one of your saint designate Mother Teresa (MT) has converted the poverty stricken and leprosy beaten city of Calcutta into a metropolitan. Now, Sir, you could imagine how much more SG is greater than MT, if you compare Calcutta in relation to India. Yes, what a brilliant mind, you have guessed it right 1SG = 10000MT's.

Sir, I know your compulsions that you can beatify any sacrificing, kind-hearted and selflessly serving soul, but for being christened as saint that person need to perform at least two miracles. The height of her greatness is such that she could be the only saint in the world who can be made saint even before beatifying, as she is an expert in the field of miracles, and the best part is that you don't have to search for proofs as she performs all this on live television.

So here goes the first incident, her powers had made 150 spineless men and women stand on their feet!!! When they were singing her praise and offering their prayers to her. Some were crying, others astonished and some other disappointed but they all were equally mesmerized by her charm as she was in the process of performing the greatest sacrifice in the history of India which no Indian has ever done. Sir, you can have best spinal surgeons in the world and get them checked. I am ready to bet her sainthood if they find even a single bone in their body, but I know it won't be necessary as their being spineless is miracle enough.

The second incident though it is attached with the first one but the participants and their peculiar condition makes it a very special case indeed. So when the first miracle was taking place many brain- dead men and women were seen across various news channels, who by grace of her saintliness were alive and managing to shower accolades on her and yet other's came out writing scintillating pieces about her sacrifice and glory in the morning newspapers. This miracle further goes on to show the fundamental mistake biologist were doing by proclaiming brain as the most important human organ for survival because there are some who can do away with it completely.. of course with the help of her mercy.

I know it is going to be a long letter but have patience miracles doesn't come cheap even by going at your own breathtaking pace of producing saints. She might even have performed more miracles than all your saints taken together.

Another mind boggling case of miracle, a man shoots himself from point blank range.. horrors of horrors.opps. grace of grace... he survives. Here, SG surpasses all other saint's in the miracles history. I would like a new designation created for her, probably it should be called Super Saint. Now, what any ordinary saint would have done in this case, a man shoots himself, the bullet gets in the brain and comes out from the other side and the man survives or the bullet remains in the brain and the man survives, but both are very ugly ways of performing miracles, a lot of blood and flesh, but can you guess what our super saint SG has done. I bet you can't, so here is the complete story -The man shoots himself from the point blank range and.. hold your breath..he misses the target!!!! Neither blood nor flesh that's what you can call a clean miracle.

When this was happening, another man in a vain attempt to stop her from performing the sacrifice offered his life by trying to self immolate himself, but our kind-hearted SG would have none of it and the man came out round and sound from the burning fires with just his scarf being accepted as token of his loyalty and faith in her by the fire.

She has performed all these miracles in just one single day so it could be anybody's guess how many more she had performed so far. In her life full of miracles, take this for granted, nobody can measure the depth... I mean the height of her greatness.

Now for the sacrifices, first she had left the land of God and Pope, Italy for the land of ungodly, communal people. A developed country for an underdeveloped one. A land of monotheism for the land of polytheism, but don't doubt her she had always remained true to her religion and faith. Ok I know she married a Hindu. or was he a Parsi. or a Jew .forget it, who cares, but that was the sacrifice she has to made to save millions of Indians, but in spite this she had given her son good old Christianity and made sure that her daughter marries a christen only, so from now on there will be only christen crop in their family. So apart from a good heart she has got a great mind too.

She had worn traditional oriental dresses in place of trendy western dresses, so that ordinary Indians will not feel any inferiority complex from her. She had learnt their language, so that they can understand her kind words of wisdom. Some says she has even saved some money from the Bofors transaction in a Swiss bank account, so that she can save India if the bad days befall it. She had sacrificed her freedom of movement, so that her security guards can earn their living. she had revived the grand old party of India from just 121 to a who.oooooo..oping 145 seats in the parliament so that Indians can have a Secular Growth instead of GDP Growth, moreover these ungodly Indians needs spiritual rather than material growth.

She had sacrificed her mother in law and her husband on the pavements of... I mean altars of Indian democracy. Hang on I know some people have imposed these sacrifices on her but look at the pain part and suffering, you can use it in the beatification process, as her kids were just in their early 20's and she has to raise them without their father, here you must understand the rich and famous remains teenager till they reach 50 and their pain of loosing their father is much more than any ordinary child losing both the parents.

But you know saints have great appetite for sacrifice, so she performed the greatest one of them all, inspite of stiff resistance from her chest beating followers. No, no she has not sacrificed her life and anyway her life is too valuable to be sacrificed for the wretched Indians and also life is too cheap in India to be termed as a sacrificial entity.

Well it's befitting a woman from your own land has to be capable of such acts of magnanimity ...Now! Lo and behold..the supreme sacrifice. she refused the prime ministership of this country. Though she had taken 9 days, but she didn't want to give a crude shock too blatantly to her followers, if she had done this on the first day itself thousand might have died in the sorrow and grief and then again she had to summon enough powers to perform all the miracles she had done afterwards. Moreover the icing on sacrificial cake is that, she will do all the work, burn the midnight oil and run the whole country from behind the scene and somebody else will take credit for it, and look how compassionate she is, even for her enemies, as her first priority is secularism, a lot of material growth might not be possible and if in this case some ignorant and arrogant Indians points a finger on her, they will have committed a sin and have to suffer the burning fires of hell on the judgment day, but she mercifully saved them and I think even her worst detractor will live and die in piece due to her mercy.

She told her followers like Jesus Christ (JC) "you sheep's I will be your shepherd" and appointed a loyal head sheep to lead them after her. So my dear pope she can take her heard of sheep's wherever she wants to - to secularism, to Christianity or to God, wherever she may wish, and she had got more sheep's than even JC ever had.

Sir, I request you to anoint her as the Messenger of God and if not that, at least a Super Saint. I think her followers would even go to the extent of christening her as god but for the fact she could not convert all the public into her herd of sheep's.

Yours Someone, who has been spared by her divine grace.