BARACK OBAMA'S STRONG MARRIAGE
Date: 21 Jan 2009
Comment:
- SURRENDER
- WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE OBAMAS
- WILL HEALTHY MARRIAGE TRICKLE DOWN?
- DUAL CAREER, TWO KIDS, MANY CAMPAIGNS - IT'S REAL
- MARRIAGE MOMENTS
- AN ARGUMENT A DAY KEEPS THE DIVORCE LAWYERS AWAY.....
########################
- SURRENDER
Diane,
You may as well surrender. We may have had presidents with great marriages
but we've never had a presidential marriage that created such a commotion
with so many journalists commenting about their incredibly romantic
commitment and PDAs. You seem to be concerned about celebrating this, like
you'll offend the Republicans. Don't worry, go ahead and play it for all
it's worth. An opportunity like this is made to order for our marriage
education ministry. - Bill in Austin
I agree, it's creating an unbelievable marriage mania. I'm pleased that so
many of you have written on your own blogs and newslists and that you are
all sending me great articles and comments. Someone wrote me last night to
point out that the Obamas not only danced to At Last *the wedding song* but
also dressed the part with the First Lady in a white €wedding-like* gown
that they looked like a bride and groom on top of the wedding cake and
predicted a huge increase in weddings in the coming year. If this happens
it's our job to be sure these couples are prepared for marriage, not just
weddings! Someone else just sent me this first article with the comment
about how wise the president is on advice for husbands - said maybe we could
get him/them to write a marriage book. I'll share a few more articles.... I
guess Bill in Austin is right - we should ride this one as long as it lasts.
If you figure ways to use the presidential marriage in your community for
MARRIAGE WEEK celebrations, share your ideas with the list! I can imagine
some incredible posters! And, if you can spare the time, please add your
comments to any of the articles web pages. Some of the comment sections are
pretty marriage-cynical. - diane
###################################
- WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE OBAMAS
Strong Marriage Strong Family Series: What we can learn from the Obamas
January 20
by Angela Atkinson, St. Louis Family & Parenting Examiner
> "What I realize as I get older is that Michelle is less concerned about me
> giving her flowers than she is that I'm doing things that are hard for me --
> carving out time," Obama said in an Ebony interview, "That to her is proof,
> evidence that I'm thinking about her. She appreciates the flowers, but to her
> romance is that I'm actually paying attention to things that she cares about,
> and time is always an important factor."
>
As I watched the inauguration of President Barack Obama today with tears in
my eyes and a baby on my hip, I noticed how his beautiful wife stood next to
him, her eyes never leaving his face.
It would seem that the Obamas have figured out this whole strong marriage
thing. As such, and in honor of President Obama's inauguration today, the
Strong Marriage, Strong Family series will take its cue from Barack and
Michelle's soon to be legendary relationship.
1. Love AND Respect one another. According to author and relationship expert
Kathlyn Hendricks, ³Not only does [Barack Obama] love his wife, he respects
her. The model of harmony, shared humor and easy communication that the
Obamas reveal really is a new model ‹ if ordinary citizens practiced this
each day, our world would transform very quickly in positive directions.²
2. Engage in a little PDA. You don't have to make out on the street corner,
but don't be afraid to touch your partner's arm, hold hands, or even sneak a
little kiss now and then, especially in situations where its safe to do so.
Barack Obama is constantly telling the world that he loves his wife,
stealing kisses whenever he can and proclaiming that she is the "love of his
life."
3. Make time for one another. I've said it before folks, and I'll say it
again. Take time every day to be a couple. President Obama says that it's
one way he shows his wife he loves her.
"What I realize as I get older is that Michelle is less concerned about me
giving her flowers than she is that I'm doing things that are hard for me --
carving out time," Obama said in an Ebony interview, "That to her is proof,
evidence that I'm thinking about her. She appreciates the flowers, but to
her romance is that I'm actually paying attention to things that she cares
about, and time is always an important factor."
For the photo: http://tinyurl.com/6vltej
######################################
- WILL HEALTHY MARRIAGE TRICKLE DOWN?
The Obamas: A more perfect union
San Francisco Chronicle/SFGate.com
The Mommy Files
http://tinyurl.com/7oat5d
> The New York Daily News even predicted that there would be a baby boom if
> Obama won the election. And now that he has won the election, do you think his
> healthy marriage will trickle down?
Did you see the way she was looking at him as he was sworn in as the 44th
president of the United States? Did you see how many times throughout the
inauguration he touched her and she touched him. A reassuring pat on the
shoulder. A loving embrace. As they walked along the parade route, she
tightly squeezed his hand with a huge smile across her face. Barack and
Michelle Obama are hot, despite being married for 16 years and having two
children. And my God, I think our new president and his wife actually have
sex. Could they possibly be in love? I think so.
One of the greatest benefits of an Obama presidency is so often forgotten
but it's right out there in plain sight: the healthy relationship between
Michelle and Barack. Married couples rejoice! We finally have a positive
role model. This is refreshing after the litany of past political couples'
dysfunctional relationships. The Clintons, the Spitzers, and even the
Kennedys, who almost never held hands or showed affection in public.
The Obamas aren't afraid of PDA. Remember when Barack won the Democratic
nomination? The frisky couple were all over each other--and so were
supporters celebrating the victory. The news networks started showing
footage of couples smooching at Obama parties all over the country. The New
York Daily News even predicted that there would be a baby boom if Obama won
the election. And now that he has won the election, do you think his healthy
marriage will trickle down? Will his romantic relationship with his wife
inspire us all to start holding hands again? Can our new president save our
world--and our marriages?
(And the Bidens, too. As someone says in the comments section on this
piece.)
######################################
- DUAL CAREER, TWO KIDS, MANY CAMPAIGNS - IT'S REAL
And then there's this one from the Chicago Sun Times that goes into their
busy schedules and marriage struggles - it's been 16 years:
http://tinyurl.com/8selcl
----------------------------------------------------
And this snippet from about.com
> What You Can Learn From the Marriage of Michelle and Barack Obama:
> Barack and Michelle understand the importance of putting a priority on their
> time together. Even with both of their busy schedules, Barack and Michelle
> make time for one another.
>
> In an ABC interview, Michelle said that "Barack didn't pledge riches, only a
> life that would be interesting. On that promise he's delivered." She also said
> as part of the division of labor in their house, Barack did the grocery
> shopping.
########################################
- MARRIAGE MOMENTS
> Diane, We, along with the rest of the country, have been watching the lead up
> to inauguration day and we spotted two wonderful marriage moments today. The
> first was Barack and Michelle Obama visiting a high school in Washington to
> have lunch with volunteers. He was called upon to speak and he promised to
> work to get the government moving in a responsible way and he asked his
> audience to do their part in making the sacrifices necessary for a better
> future. As always he was eloquent and charming, but what really impressed us
> was that he turned to Michelle and asked if she wanted to add anything. A man
> just about to take the oath of office as president of the most powerful
> nation on earth turned to his wife to listen respectfully to her. WOW!
>
> Then there was Jill Biden revealing on Oprah that Joe had been offered the
> Sec. of State job. Probably not a good political move, but what we noticed
> was what she said about why she encouraged him to take the vice-presidency.
> "If you were secretary of state," she said, "we'd never see you, except for
> an occasional state dinner." WOW again. Not what's more prestigious, or
> easier to get, or makes the most contacts, but what is best for the family,
> for the marriage.
>
> We're all leery of a Camelot moment, but for those of us looking for
> positive images for marriage, this has to be AMAZING
> Steve and Kathy Beirne
###################################
- AN ARGUMENT A DAY KEEPS THE DIVORCE LAWYERS AWAY.....
As we've long said: it's not the disagreements, but how you handle them that
matters. And, you have to handle them, avoiding disagreements is not the
answer. - diane
Fiona McCade: A row a day helps you work, rest and stay married
Daily tiffs may be the key to a long and happy marriage
Fiona McCade
The Sunday Times (London)
January 18, 2009
When does arguing every day become the recipe for a happy marriage? When it
keeps a couple together for 75 years, apparently. Francis and May Smith,
Scotland¹s longest-married couple, have just celebrated three-quarters of a
century of connubial bliss and they put the longevity of their relationship
down to losing their tempers with each other on a daily basis ‹ even arguing
more now than they did as newly-weds. But they claim this means there¹s
never a dull moment and I believe them. Especially because Britain¹s
longest-married couple ‹ still in love after nearly 81 years ‹ also cite
having ³a small argument every day² as being integral to their success.
This seems perfectly logical to me. Disagreement equals passionate
communication. It clears the air. If your beloved is still leaving wet
towels on the bathroom floor after 75 years, it¹s no good festering about
it. Get it out in the open, then kiss and make up.
Pick your fights wisely, however. Just talking about the Smiths caused a
completely pointless row in the McCade household. Instead of agreeing with
me when I declared, ³Arguing obviously helps a marriage², my husband
irritatingly replied: ³I¹m loath to disagree with you, because you hate
being wrong.² Which forced me to say:
³Of course I hate it if you say I¹m wrong when I¹m right.²
He asked: ³Do you hate that more than actually being wrong? Which is worse,
being wrong, or being told you¹re wrong when you¹re right?²
To which I replied: ³Shut up, shut up, shut up, you obnoxious git.²
Seventy-five years. How the hell have they managed it? Maybe the real secret
to a good marriage is not the arguing, but the method of reconciliation. The
Smiths never let the sun go down on a quarrel, but I bet Mr Smith has learnt
that so long as he always ends any blistering row with the words, ³You¹re
right, love, I¹m sorry², all will be well. Husbands, take note.
####################
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